Are tantrums from Autistic children different than the tantrums of non Autistic? My grown boys had some pretty crazy tantrums, but not like Jane and Jimmy have. Jane and Jimmy scream at the top of their lungs in a very high pitch. They have since they discovered their voices. They screamed as a way of getting their needs met.
I tried sign language, not interested. Jimmy was a little more willing to learn. He still signs for more. Jane wanted nothing to do with it. I believe that some of the demand through screaming is partially my fault. When we would be out in public, and they screamed, I would jump and try to calm them down, not wanting to annoy those around us.
I do have a tendency to ignore the whining. It isn’t just when they have tantrums or want something that they scream at the top of their lungs. When frustrated, happy, excited, angry just about any emotion they scream in high pitch eardrum shattering levels! They would get my attention at home through screaming, and I guess quicker than if they just whined.
I know that this is a sensory thing for them. Jane is more verbal than Jimmy, so I have been working with her to use her words. Jimmy has language, but he is at a two-year-old level and is 3. He doesn’t have the same skills. I am pouring through the books that I have, trying to find a way to reach him and help him soothe that sensory differently.
I don’t know if any of you have this problem, but when we are at the store, they start screaming, and I try to quiet them down, and they get louder. I can’t count the number of times I left a store, church, or restaurant because they were screaming and whining so much. On one occasion, a lady came up to me and said, “ It upsets you more than it is bothering others. Most of us understand”. I know she is probably right, but it is still hard to deal with them in public. I know the kids feed off of my stress and frustration too.
There have been times when I caught myself almost apologizing for their Autism. I stop. I know I have nothing to apologize for. Have any of you been in that position?
Thank you! 💕💕💕 You are absolutely correct there is nothing about Autism to apologize for!
There are so many of us who have experience, and we just know!
I’m sure you e already learned all the things I’m about to share… but I feel the love and caring that you have…
and then I have to share about things close to my heart 💕
One thing that I have learned, and that benefits those of my loves that need to know it… Is that sensory issues are not just Touch or taste… They include sight, sound and smell.
Smell is a very overwhelming sense … many feel that any and all smells are an extreme. Those with sensory issues related to smell can become physically ill just by walking by someone who aren’t wearing any perfume, just their soap and shampoo form a recent shower!
Everyday smells overpower them quickly. Which is why many with this sensory issue have to remove all scented items (cleaners, laundry detergent, fabric softener, air fresheners, deodorant, and all Bath and body items) While most people are not bothered by them, and actually prefer them this is Not so with those who are sensory overloaded.
They remove as Many sense/smells from their every day life, so that when they are exposed to them, it’s easier to adjust/cope.
Sight Sensory issues are exacerbated by fluorescent light, which most shopping venues have. Those lights are extremely overwhelming and can be painful. Light a bright flashlight beaming directly into your eyes. Another sight sensory issue that many people don’t think of is having many objects to look at… Think clutter versus minimalism. So when you’re shopping, and there are many many many many many things to look at, that can be overwhelming, the brain gets overstimulated and does not know what to look at.
And shopping also overstimulates those with sound sensory complications, think about how many sounds You hear when you’re shopping. There are Way more (too many more) than you could think of, but most of them many people just ignore. You know they aren’t important to listen to…. The sound of the cart rolling along the floor. The cash register ding ding dinging, people’s clothes rustling, people breathing. Most of us drown it out, because those sounds aren’t important. Not like a scream, a fire alarm, a siren, etc. which most people would immediately pay attention to.
Even the sound of silence could be overwhelming. People that have sensory Issues related to sound have also commented that the Hum of electronics, which most people cannot hear, irritate them. Think of all the electronic items there are when out shopping!
For most of us, our senses work the way they are designed too. We see, hear, taste, smell and feel things, then our brain decides if they are/are not friendly, and therefore we can disregard them, or not. If we smell something off, we investigate, find source, then learn to disregard. Others cannot do that. There brain does not disregard and keeps bombarding them with the urge to investigate (cause a lot of stress)
For those with sensory overload, it seems that they cannot disregard those things, as our senses were designed to work. They keep sensing them. …. which leads to…. sensory overload.
And example would be the term that has been coined “nose blind“… That means that people who smell the same smells, for example stinky socks or a stinky room or cat P or cigarette smoke… They become nose blind to it. Meaning that their nose no longer registers it. Their nose/sense of smell has deemed that this is a normal smell, and they should not pay any attention to it. For people who have sensory issues, they do not become nose blind to anything. They continue to smell continuously… or hear
Now imagine that in your whole life. If you cannot become nose blind to smell… If you could not drowned out the ticking of the clock or the sound of the person next to you breathing. You see, smell, and hear everything all the time…
Of course this description is not what everyone with sensory issues feels, but it seems to be a common theme among many. And not to say that some cannot learn To adjust/ignore/cope… But unfortunately many of these things cannot be learned/adjusted away. Only coped with. And that’s asking A LOT!
Many times I’ve seen loved ones with sunglasses in shops (like when kids go toy the dentist for first time they let them wear big sunglasses), others with noise canceling headphones (nothing playing, just quiet), others with a cosy hat on that covers the ears and just feels “protective”… and even others yet who have a electronic device hooked up with headphones- to distract the littles from the outside world… this only works to block out the sights and sounds… not smells like from cleaning section or seafood dept. not from the extreme changers in temperature in a store (or the air blasts at the entryway).
But find anything to help remove Just one sensory stimulation and that makes a huge difference!
Not one thing works for everyone, but the one thing that works for your one child makes a world of difference 💕💕💕