I am still waiting. How long does it take for them to read through a file and appoint people to start getting the services my kids need? Well, a month so far. I realize that we are not the only family they work with, and they are probably short-staffed. (Are you as tired of hearing that as I am?) But we do need help.
My kids are regressing at such a fast pace. It will take months to get them back to where they were a month ago. Not having preschool doesn’t help, and they won’t get into preschool this school year. I did not think this whole moving thing through. I’m trying not to let guilt get the best of me.
I am sitting here in my living room watching Jane and Jimmy playing. I love that they can play pretend. They are going back and forth between rooms and playing together well. There has been minimal screaming and, so far, no fighting. It is such a joy to watch.
I often see how far behind other children they are but not today. Today, at this moment, they are playing well together and seem to enjoy each other’s company. I laugh at the songs they make up, and they both seem to be on the same level and know the other will finish the line to each verse. They are remarkable.
When we had ABA therapy, I would often wonder if it was working? Was it doing any good? Would they start to improve? Now that we haven’t had ABA for a while, I see just how much it did help. Jane’s regression shows me just how far she had gotten. She is reverting to babble more than entire sentences. As I said previously, she is peeing and pooping her pants regularly.
I have changed a little too. I am trying to remember the things they did in ABA and continue working with both of them. I am not as good as the people who worked with them, but I can love them as I work with them, and hopefully, that will help slow the regression. I lovingly remind Jane how important she potties in the toilet. I am extra careful not to shame. I remember being shamed.
Why is parenting so hard? Then add something like Autism to the plate, and all the parenting skills I learned from raising my grown children have gone out the window. There is very little similarity in raising Jane and Jimmy as to how I raised my grown boys.
When I got Jane, I thought I would do this differently, but the truth is I do everything differently. I am grateful for the ability to see where she was behind and was able to get her the help early. That made it easy to get help for Jimmy as the therapists helping Jane saw Jimmy and recognized his delays. My advice to everyone is to get help as early as you can. The other piece of advice is don’t forget yourself. You need to take care of yourself because this wears you down. Take care of yourself.
I will have to call the Regional Center to see where we are at in their pile of work. I need to remind them that we are essential and that the kids’ needs are essential.