The family across the street from me has two kids that look about the same age as mine. My first thought was to watch to ensure they don’t go in the road. I was in my kitchen and looked out the window and saw them running out of their house. One ran straight to the car and waited patiently for his mother; the other picked up a toy, put it down, walked over to the car, and calmly waited for her mother.
I felt a little jealous. The first thing that happens when I open the front door is both my kids dash for the road. I follow behind them, yelling to stop and come back and don’t hear me. That very reason led me to believe my kids had hearing problems early on. I have since realized it is a common part of Autism. Knowing that did not make my jealousy less. I understand.
There have been a few times I have grabbed Jane just in time to pull her back from a speeding car. One of those cars was a Sherriff. He stopped and watched as I took her screaming to the side of the road. The Sherriff got out of his car and came up to me, and told me she deserved a spanking. I told him it wouldn’t do any good. He gave me a look and said that it could have ended up much worse. I knew that! He left shaking his head. I don’t blame him. I sometimes feel at a loss of how to handle these situations.
I am working on keeping my feelings in check. Sure I wish my kids were Neurotypical and understood and processed things like an average child, but they aren’t. I am learning everything I can to understand them better to guide them as they grow and learn to function in society.
I need to stop holding my breath every time we go out. It is hard to remember that the world’s opinions around me don’t matter. The kid’s wellbeing and safety is my main concern. I also need to learn to give myself a break and know that I am doing my best. I need to let go of the guilt and just let the kids learn and grow at their pace.
I need to remember the times that they played together well. The days of little screaming and fighting. Those are the triumphs that make the trials bearable.
Hi! My daughter has Aspergers and I can really relate to your comment about spanking. So many people do not understand.
I can feel the trials you must be going through day to day, moment to moment. Around here there are some areas where I’ve seen official caution signs on the road indicating that ‘caution, deaf children at play’, maybe there is something like that for autistic children to make people aware and more cautious. Then maybe the Sheriff would have been a little more understanding and helpful. Sounds like you are doing a great job, stay strong and keep finding joy in the little things!
Thank you for your comment. That is a great idea, finding a sign for the road.
When my son was little, every trip to Best Buy turned into a spectacle. Something about Best Buy was just to overstimulating. It was always a nightmare! He’d run away, up ladders, etc.
It is interesting how my son is fine in one store and freaks out in another or screams so we don’t go in at all. I feel you.
The guilt is all to real. My youngest daughter,7, has high functioning autism. Sometimes I feel I’m way too hard on her. I don’t mean to be though. It’s tough , but you got this!
I am hard on mine to I feel. I think I overcompensate for their behavior.
Hi, as a teacher who has had students with autism, this was a great read. Thank you for giving me a mom’s perspective. It seems like you are doing a great job of appreciating who they are. I like the idea of the sign as well.
Hi, as a teacher who has had students with autism, I really appreciate reading a mom’s perspective. It seems like you are doing a great job of appreciating who your children are. What a gift to them!
Thank you so much. They were in preschool and had angels for teachers. I am grateful for what you do.